Home is a great space to start.  Clearing the clutter from your home may seem overwhelming at first; how much have you been hording over the seasons, or years for that matter? Sometimes things just seem to pile up; life happens and doesn’t wait for you to finish your chores, does it? Organization is a skill, just like cooking or balancing a check account.  It takes time, practice and gets easier the more you do it.  It’s also most time-consuming when you first begin, like the start to any other project.  Personally, I find it easiest to begin with one area, be it a room or a task.  I also find it easiest if everything has a home; and if it doesn’t either make one, toss it in the trash, recycling, or donate pile.  For instance, I’m notorious for collecting paper clutter.  The culprits fall under receipts, junk mail, random paper, bills, business cards, and magazines.  To tackle this project I find it therapeutic to shred, recycle, toss, or file.  I’ll make a list of the different rooms or areas of clutter I want to purge and cross them off the list as I go.  It is quite satisfying to create new space and brings a sense of airy lightness to your home; if you are willing give it a shot.  The state of you external environment is also very symbolic for the state of you internal environment.

If you to take spring cleaning one step further, your head and your health could greatly benefit.  Springtime is symbolic for reawakening and rebirth, so what better time then now to give your internal house a little attention, love, and affection? What old habits, thoughts, and beliefs are you holding onto?  Did you spend the winter saying, “I’ll start exercising tomorrow,” only to find today is tomorrow? Did you spend this winter eating comforting, rich, and unhealthy foods; packing on a few extra pounds? Only now you want to remove them for swimsuit season, but you can’t seem to get yourself to change your eating and exercise habits. There are endless opportunities for jump starting your mental and physical health. What speaks to you? Could you boost your health by doing a seasonal detox? Take up a new exercise class?  Begin frequenting the local farmers markets to shop for local, fresh ingredients?  Create a new night-time routine to gain more Zzzs? Could you meditate or pray more to create more metal space? Could you spend more time outdoors?

If you are willing, what is one way you could spring clean your head, health, or home and what is one step you could take today to get closer to accomplishing it?

Happy spring!

Erika

Related articles

• De-clutter! Detox! De-stress! Spring Cleaning for Your Home, Body and Life. (wholewomannetwork.org)
• Tips for Freshening Your Home With a Little Spring Cleaning (hayden-homes.com)
• Cleaning up the clutter in our lives (counselloroncall.wordpress.com)

I hope you are caught up on the PCBHI part 1 & PCBHI part 2, if not, take the time now, we will wait…. Ready? Ok, let’s talk building said list.

The List. Here we will cover how to make one and how to apply it properly to avoid common pitfalls like attracting the wrong mate or falling into what I like to call the “prince charming black hole of isolation.”   You know what I’m talking about…

First off, it’s important to do a pulse check on yourself and where you are. Are you looking to just get back into the dating world? Are you looking for a monogamous long term relationship that leads to marriage? What about kids; do you want them, is it ok for your partner to have them? There may be a difference in where you actually are and what you want. Often times you want to want something, but aren’t quite ready for it to show up yet. That’s ok, just be aware of it. When you make the shift to being ready to have what you want, it will come to you with ease and joy.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume you obviously want to be attracted to your mate? But let’s be real people. Are you looking for someone you are attracted to, or are you looking for a Victoria Secret model/Greek god? Being realistic with your expectations is important. Tall dark and handsome is totally acceptable, but if you are turning away a potential the love of your life because of crooked teeth or the fact that he/she is an artist instead of a doctor, you are the problem. In line with this, it’s important to not be afraid to get specific. If you are wishy washy about what you want, you’re going to get a lot of what you don’t want.  Check your expectations and make sure they are reasonable.

At this point you may be asking yourself, “how do I begin this list? What do I add to it? How long do I make it?” Well, let’s dive in. A good rule of thumb is to always start with: female/male, single, strait/gay, and emotionally & physically available. For instance, it could look something like this:

Surface stuff

1. Tall, dark, and handsome
2. Stylish
3. Hygienic
4. Athletic
5. Cute ass (I mean why not?)
6. Age range

Traits – Here you get to be more specific about the person’s interests, endeavors, habits, and lifestyle.

1. Cooks
2. Clean/organized
3. Successful
4. Adventurous
5. Enjoys world travel
6. Cultured
7. Urban dweller

Qualities & Characteristics - This is your chance to request a partner who shares your core values and goals.

1. Wants children
2. Open
3. Communicative
4. Shares political views
5. Shares religious/spiritual views
6. Loves their family
7. Patient
8. Tollerant of alternate lifestyles
9. Kind

The juicy bits - This is the substance to your equation. How do you feel when you are with this person? How do you want to be treated? What stuff is important nourishing a lasting relationship? Check in with yourself. What do you truly deserve? How do you want to be treated and how do you want to treat the love of your life?

1. Communication
2. Feel loved, cherished and adored
3. Accepted
4. Like I’m with my best friend.
5. Balanced
6. Passion
7. Chemistry

Got the idea? Great! All I have left to say is be open to the possibilities and most importantly, have fun! This is YOUR list, so make it your own.

With love,

Erika

I attended a workshop a couple of weeks ago that seriously challenged this statement. At this event, the speaker boldly asked us, “why not receive that judgment?”

Indeed, why not? What is so bad about someone judging you? What if that judgment was just another opinion? What if that judgment was just an interesting point of view? What if you could allow that person to judge you without taking it on as true, or right? Just because someone comes to a conclusion about you doesn’t mean it is true; doesn’t mean you have to own it. What if they could have their opinion without it affecting you? It is after all, their opinion. It’s up to you to decide if you agree with it.

Here’s the thing about judgments – All judgments are self-judgments. I’ll say that again. All judgments are self-judgments. That’s kind of a big statement and you might think I’ve gone to crazy land, that’s ok. But I’d ask you to think about it. If you are judging someone, in the recesses of your mind, how are you judging yourself on the very same issue?How does it show up in your life? What is it about YOU that YOU are not comfortable with? Taking this one step further, if you are judging others a lot, most likely you are judging yourself even more; and is that any way to treat yourself? And aren’t you supposed to be your own best friend? Is how you treat yourself a baseline for how you let others treat you? Hmm… that’s a thought.

So, I’m changing my tune. I’m getting comfortable with judgment. I’m my own best friend after all. I’m allowing people to judge me yet dissolving the judgments by perceiving it as an interesting thought – which diffuses the situation. Then I’m giving it back to the sender. It wasn’t my judgment to begin with, so why take it on?

Here is my challenge to you; how would your life shift if you received all judgments with, “return to sender?”

Love,

Me

We’ve all heard it. Most of us have probably made one, if only in your head. The list of credentials in a mate; it can set you up for success or failure in your relationships. This list and how you apply it can say a lot about where you are in your life. It can be the reason you are dating the wrong person, the reason you are still single, or the reason you are with the love of your life. The List.  Before we create said list, (covered in PCBHI, part 3.) let’s take a moment to discuss the do’s and don’ts for manifesting it into your life and heart.

First things first, you may need a quick lesson in understanding how The Universe works. Many of us have heard of the popular book and movie, The Secret. If you have been taking a nap over the last decade, no judgment, let’s get you up to date. The Universe has laws it operates on. The Law of Gravity is one common one we learned in grade school. The Law of Attraction, albeit invisible to our senses, is also a Universal Law.  For the sake of time, here is your Cliff Notes version – what you think, feel, and expect is what you attract. If you think and feel positive, you attract a more positive life, and the opposite is true. Now that you’re up to date, let’s apply this to your love life.

To manifest your ideal mate, you literally need to place an order with The Universe as if you were ordering a coffee. When you walk into a coffee shop, hopefully you don’t walk up to the barista and say, “I’m thirsty, can I get a drink?” Chances are you are going to get stared at as if you walked out of the Looney Bin, then get asked for more specifics. Hot or cold? Tea or coffee? Latte or Drip? Soy or Milk? You get the point. After deciding on how you like your coffee; you place the order, pay, walk away, and wait for it to show up. If it shows up wrong, then you send it back and patiently wait for your order to be filled correctly.  Hopefully you don’t micro manage the barista while it’s being made. (If this is you, I speak your language. You probably have control issues. Contact me. We will work it out.) Then, when your order is ready, it shows up. It’s like magic! All you had to do was a little leg work to make this happen – you had to go to the coffee shop, decide what you wanted, place your order, pay, and walk away and wait; trusting your baristas to do their jobs.  Be grateful to those baristas for their support; this coffee came a long way to get to you. Those beans were most likely grown, harvested, and shipped from the other side of the planet. And now they are in your coffee cup. That is nothing short of a miracle. That is a big deal.

Stay tuned for the third installment of Prince Charming Black Hold of Isolation. We will outline how to create The List…

Because it is lovely to love,

Yours truly,

Erika

Related articles

• The Prince Charming Black Hole of Isolation, part 1. (erikarenea.com)

Cinderella – Prince Charming & Cinderella (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We’ve all heard of him, Mr. Prince Charming; famous Disney love stories, and “they lived happily ever after.” This is all nice and dandy, for a movie. But what happens in real life when wires cross and the “prince charming phenomena” interferes with reality, and more freakishly, your love life?

I recently had lunch with a colleague. We discussed our dating lives and fears of vulnerability; and the list. Actually, we discussed my list.  As beautiful and dreamy as it is, my list is a great starting point, as long as I don’t take it too literal. Through some hypnotherapy, a wonderful tool for self-discovery and conflict resolution, I was able to discover the core reason for my single status. I was using my list as a self-defense mechanism, a shield of sorts, to keep myself single. My list was literally a blue print for the perfect man to enter my life. But where is he? The answer is he doesn’t exist. He’s not perfect, and for me to expect perfection is just silly. No one is perfect, least of all me. I know this, so why have I set myself up for the Prince Charming Black Hole of Isolation?  The answer is simple; safety.

The list kept me safe. Safe was good. Safe was easy. Safe served me at the time. If no one was good enough, I wouldn’t have to worry about meeting the right man at the wrong time. For me, the timing hasn’t been right until now, therefore safe is not working in my favor anymore. How do I know this? I just know.  I’ve had too much to do, too many other things to focus on and too much “stuff” to work through. Now don’t take me wrong, I still have a lot going on, tons actually. I still have stuff I’m working through, I’m juggling a lot of hats, and I know where I’m going things aren’t about to slow down. However, now my priorities have shifted. Now I’m in a better space to create space for a life partner.

So I’m left with this list, and what in the world am I going to do with it? Well, I’ve decided my list is just a good general outline. Maybe he will show up differently and I’m ok with that. Maybe he doesn’t have to be six feet tall or keep all his hair. That stuff doesn’t really matter anyway, it’s just surface stuff. The fluff.

Moral of the story, if your list is asking for the impossible to be possible, are you subconsciously holding yourself back from great love? If so, ask yourself why and what you plan to do about it?

Stay tuned for PCBHI, part 2. I will outline the do’s and don’ts of creating said list.

Till then… and in the pursuit if great love,

Yours truly,

Erika

This self centric approval creates a powerful energetic shift essential to opening up you to the synergistic flow of The Universe. When you accept yourself just as you are, your energy transforms from lacking to abundance. Where your thoughts go, energy flows. This is a key ingredient in the Universal law of Abundance. When your feelings (energy) focus on everything that is not right in your life, The Universe has no choice but to align with this, bringing you more of what isn’t working for you. By simply accepting where you are in any given moment, you automatically surrender your struggles and raise your vibration. By accepting yourself as you are in any given moment, you allow The Universe to provide for you in a supportive way, better serving you, your life and the lives you touch.

What if you are absolutely needed, just as you are?

Related articles

• The Universal Laws of Energy and Change (lightsongblog.wordpress.com)
• LOVE GIVES US THE ENERGY, WISDOM, ABUNDANCE, AND JOY THAT WE DESIRE: Day 3 Week 9 of the 2013 Challenge (spiritmuvmeditation.com)

Charlie Brown Christmas Tree Shopping (Photo credit: K!T)

I don’t know about you, but for me the holidays are always jammed packed with too much work, parties, shopping, travel, and other random commitments. Basically I often feel like there is too much to do and too little time to do it. Frequently these circumstances which are common for many people over the holidays, tend to bring out the inner-Scrooge in me. Channeling Scrooge is not something I enjoy or am proud of. So I’ve come up with a few simple de-Scrooging tips that help me find my happy place so I can spend more time focusing my energies on what the holidays are really about; love, giving and being grateful.

1. Awareness – Knowing you are feeling stress or anxiety is key. By tuning into your body and emotions you can gauge how stressed you are in any given moment. Are you clenching your jaw? Are your shoulders tense? Do you find yourself holding your breath or breathing shallow? Are you yelling at traffic or losing your patience? Sometimes the simple awareness around how your stress is manifesting in the current moment is enough to overcome it.
2. Breathe - preferably deeply. It releases lots of delicious feel good chemicals I’m not legally allowed to advise on because I’m not a licensed medical professional. If you need more info, Google it. In fact when you google deep breathing benefits there are 2,650,000 search results. Pretty cool, right?
3. Nature - Feeling depleted and spent? Go outside! Living breathing nature is full of endless revitalizing energies just waiting to fill you up.  Just stepping outside is one of the simplest and effective ways to recharge and relax. With the days short and cold, we often shut ourselves inside during the winter months so it’s extra important to take even 5 minutes to step outside once in a while. If you put on your ambitious pants today, you could even go for a run or walk around the neighborhood and generate some feel-good endorphins. However I must preface, this is different from walking to your car while running an errand or picking up the kids from school. This is an intentional act to go outside and be present to the sounds, smells and sights around you. Take it in. Bask in it. Be present. It may amaze you.

Many blessings and Happy Holidays!

Related articles

• Ways to Reduce Anxiety (jodykyoung.wordpress.com)
• How to Banish Holiday Stress (entrepreneur.com)

However, this version of  anchoring is too limited for me.  I like to expand on the use of anchors to include any object, act, word, or saying.  I feel that anything used repetitively that is powerful enough to bring about an internal shift, could be considered an anchor.

Just this week I came down with a physically debilitating issue.  As a dancer, I was so frustrated and distraught, feeling powerless and very humbled.  I also felt very sorry for myself.  Let’s just say I was not in a good spot, (I am human too.)  So of course, I called my mom.  She was so gracious, compassionate and empathetic in her listening and support. I am very grateful having such a great mother that could just be there for me. During our chat, she said to me, “just focus on getting better.” It was such a small statement, but it gave me hope and a little light in the distance to focus on, instead of my current sorry state.  Every time I found myself feeling down in the dumps and dwelling on my condition, I remembered, “Just focus on getting better.” It provided me a sense of power in a very powerless situation.  That one statement, “Just focus on getting better” became my anchor.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain.” Hebrews 6:19

What if you started each day with the intention of being a vessel for love? What if everything you said, thought, and did was from a place of love? How would your mood shift? How would your day change? How would you treat others; from your closest loved ones to your co-workers or the driver who wouldn’t let you merge in traffic? Would you be more patient with your children, spouse, or parents? Taking that one step further, how would you treat yourself?

Would you talk more kindly to yourself? Would you make more time for yourself, get the rest you need, exercise, and treat your body better? How differently would your day look? It was Gandhi who notably said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” What kind of change do you wish to see in the world? How does living in love impact the change you wish to see?

How would living with the intention of love change the way you showed up in your life and the world? This weekend I was reminded of this very important Mantra - I am a vessel for love and everything I say, everything I think, and everything I do is in the service of love. Even this morning, waking up with a lingering cold and sore throat, wishing more than anything I could crawl back under the covers and sleep the day away, I revisited my Mantra and felt and immediate shift in my mood. Of course I still felt ill, but I was able to catch myself projecting my mood of self-pity on everyone who crossed my path this morning. I don’t even feel as sick as I did when I woke up!  Sometimes the power of the mind simply amazes me.

So go forth and live in love.

Erika Renea, Life & Wellness coach was interviewed and featured in the local Seattle Natural Choice Directory on weight loss, health and how to broach the subject with loved ones.

http://www.naturalchoice.net/blogs/Blog0712_Talk_About_Health_Not_Weight.html